Something's Missing

Today is Cole's first day of Kindergarten, a huge milestone in his short little life. Something about sending your child off on this day causes you to reflect upon their previous 5 years. I'm not new to the first day of kindergarten phenomenon, two years ago I wrote about Faith's first day. This time is different, I do love all of my children equally but each one of them brings something special into our family, Cole brings a certain something that I need each day. It is the sweet and genuine love that he has for each of us. He will randomly approach me with kisses and I love you's. He has an inherit kindness and compassion that are not present in my other children. He thinks of others more than he thinks of himself, and how many five year olds can you say that about. He has a wit and sense of humor that is unique, and I have never heard a more infectious laugh. I say this all now with pride because Cole's first four years were difficult. He was a child born with what we like to call "quirks," sensitivities that even as a baby caused him great anxiety. It was not until he was a toddler and could communicate that we began to understand why he would get so upset. He was a child that refused to wear conventional shoes (thank you God for Crocs), would obsess over the length of all articles of clothing and had difficulties with the texture of certain foods. Cole would chew his chicken to the point that it was unrecognizable, he would even gag and throw up trying to get it down. As a mother I was worried that he would not be ready for Kindergarten when that time came, today I am so proud of how far he has come. As I walked him (wearing his new conventional shoes) into class today I was confident that he was prepared and could even thrive in that environment. Today my only concern about Cole and Kindergarten is whether or not I am prepared to let him go.